


I Appear Missing

by entropial_goose



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: ? - Freeform, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Drunk Sex, Emetophobia, First Kiss, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:07:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27616003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/entropial_goose/pseuds/entropial_goose
Summary: A close moment between roommates. Too close.
Relationships: Otacon/Solid Snake
Comments: 6
Kudos: 51





	I Appear Missing

The things Hal noticed first were the shiny, empty bottles reflecting the clinical glow of the flickering lightbulb.  
  
"Did you… drink all of that?" he asked slowly, pointing in no particular direction while trying to avoid eye contact as much as possible. He received no reaction.  
  
He sighed and shook his head, closing the door behind him, the grocery bags in his hand bouncing lightly against the door frame. Seated at the shabby, wooden kitchen table was a slouched figure; messy strands of greasy hair falling into their face, covering most of the dark rings framing tired and glassy eyes. After gingerly making his way into the kitchen, Hal made a noise of disapproval as he fished a moldy fruit, most likely an apple, out of the fridge.  
  
"You know we talked about this, Snake. You shouldn’t drink so much… especially not before a mission." He held his breath as he waited for a response, his daring approach of the topic going seemingly unnoticed by the man in question. 

After four cans of ravioli and a cereal box had disappeared into the cupboard, he turned his head over his shoulder and immediately regretted the decision. Snake was glaring at him, furrowed eyebrows meeting on his forehead. Hal turned around and put his hands up in a defensive gesture.  
  
"I… ah. Please, Sna—"  
  
Before he was able to finish, Snake had pushed himself off the table. Even in his drunken state, he managed to maintain some of his trained elegance, and almost didn't stumble at all while walking to the door. Only as he pushed it open with a shaking hand, did Hal notice something off in his movements. He didn’t dare to speak. Not like this. In the doorway, Snake shot him a last glance. He seemed to be hesitating, his annoyed expression turning neutral.

"I’ll be back before morning. Need some space." 

"Wait…”  
  
Despite being scared of the consequences, Hal managed to take a step forward. His concern outweighed his fear, and he wanted to mentally slap himself for it. He had agreed to fight Metal Gear, to hack into databases, steal government information and handle dangerous technical equipment - used to breaking into high security places. He had been prepared to die - still was. 

But this - simply solving interpersonal conflicts between his drunk roommate and this weak, pathetic excuse of himself - was simply overstepping his capabilities. 

In a quiet voice, he says, "Stay here, sleep it off."  
  
He was silent for a moment before taking another step.

"I know it‘s been getting worse, and - and…" his fingers twitched under all the pressure. "I don’t know what I can do to help you, but I figured… since we kinda live on top of each other already," a small, nervous chuckle escaped him, "If there is anything I can do. Please, tell me."

Snake sharply sucked in a breath and fixed his eyes on Hal. "Alright.” The low rumble of his voice made the tiny hairs on Hal's neck stand up. 

"R-Really?”

Snake walked towards him. As he entered Hal's personal space, Hal was able to smell the alcohol on his breath.  
  
"I want you—“ an accusing index finger poked his chest, “to leave me the fuck alone."

Hal's face grew hot and his hopeful expression quickly turned into a mortified grimace. Snake didn’t care, and continued pushing him further against the kitchen counter. 

"We work together. That’s it. You keep out of my personal problems and I keep out of yours." 

Hal could only nod, almost frozen in fear. 

"That is…" Snake's speech slurred just the tiniest bit as he turned on his heels and stumbled towards the door. "That is what you can do for me,” the door opened, "Otacon."  
  
The last word had been more of a hiss than a drunken mumble. Hal seized up at the cruel sound, and the door slammed. He was alone. Giving the empty room a pained smile, he turned his attention back to the groceries.

* * *

It was dark, and the dusty moonlight that managed to penetrate the dirty window enveloped Hal in a sickening shine. His sweaty limbs were tangled with the stained sheets and he couldn’t help but sigh as he buried his face in his pillow. 

The summer heat made the room feel like a pressure cooker, and he wondered if it was possible to open the window without getting eaten alive by mosquitos. After first arriving in Florida, they had been thankful that they had found a flat at all, even if this one only had one bedroom, a kitchen, and a very, very dubious bathroom that harboured all stages of fungal life.  
  
It was best to lay low for a while, at least until the next mission, and this place seemed like the best option, even if the lack of working air conditioning seemed to drive people crazy at this time of the year. Them included.  
  
Hal breathed in the humid air, nose still buried in his pillow. It smelled like sweat, alcohol, and cigarettes. 

Of course. _Snake_. 

Considering the fact that there was only one bed in their lousy little bedroom, they had worked out an arrangement pretty fast. They took turns; one of them got the bed and the other had to deal with the creaking monstrosity of a 70's flower pattern couch in the corner beside the window.  
  
Hal didn’t mind. Sleep was a rare occurrence for him. Most of his time was spent hammering away at the keys of his various laptops, fueled by coffee and too many sugary energy drinks. Snake still went for the couch every other night, faithful to their agreement. The bed stayed empty.

Hal couldn't remember if it was his turn tonight. Still, he continued to lazily draw circles with his finger into the pillow, the fabric dimpling under his touch.  
  
Snake rarely left like this. He had probably made it to the next bar where he continued to chuck down ungodly amounts of alcohol before somehow finding his way back to their flat, passing out on the bed as soon as his body hit the mattress.  
  
Maybe he went out to get laid, too, Hal thought, and felt a pang of jealousy rise up in his chest. All he had was shitty porn and his own hands. No time for social interaction with anyone but his intimidating roommate and working partner. Not that he was too keen on going out anyway.  
  
He took another whiff of the pillow and clumsily moved against the bed. It felt... nice, and he immediately cursed himself for even thinking of this. Still, the smell and the feeling were too comforting, quiet whispers about the promise of human warmth and physical contact sparked up in the back of his mind. Something dug into his thigh roughly and it took him a while to realise that it had been his own hand.  
  
"Ahh, screw it…" He groaned audibly and pushed down his boxers.  
  
Warmth spread throughout his body. It wasn’t like the unbearable heat from outside. More of a glow coming from his own body, and Hal didn’t waste any time letting himself melt into it. He was already getting hard, even if the angle was awkward, and a suppressed moan managed to escape his lips. It felt good. A little bit too good for his taste, face buried in the smell and softness of the pillow, his head still filled with the dazed memory of Snake's low voice turning into a dangerous growl. The sensation mixed with other nonsense Hal's brain had decided to bring up, and soon he found himself rocking against the mattress in a steady rhythm, the bed underneath him creaking slightly at every movement.  
  
With ragged breaths, he tried to remember the more friendly moments between them; Snake smiling at him after a sarcastic remark, Snake allowing him to call him by his real name, Snake dragging him to the car after Hal had gotten shot for the first time on a mission. Snake himself getting hurt and Hal stitching him back up, bloodstains still painting the sheets, red now, dark in the dismal light. He groaned and traced them with his fingers, his mind slipping back to that angry and dangerous voice, hands closing around his neck and pushing him up against a wall.  
  
No smiles here, he thought - all sneers and hurt. That’s what they were. The door slamming, heavy, uncoordinated steps approaching. A deep voice.  
  
"Otacon?"

He immediately froze, thumb still grazing the tip of his dick, breathless against the pillow. Snake either hadn’t noticed the mess he had walked in on, or generously chose to ignore it.  
  
“Are you awake? It’s, uh…" he paused and moved, and Hal couldn’t see - only hear him. "It’s my turn tonight. The bed…” 

Hal slipped his hand out of his boxers and pushed himself up.  
  
"Ah… Sorry, I forgot," he mumbled, and pulled his legs up to his chest so his partner wouldn’t be greeted by this little inconvenience. "I got tired and didn’t think. I’m sorry."

He looked up at the silhouette standing above him. It was hard to make out his features since Hal's glasses were lost somewhere on the bedside table, but Snake didn’t seem angry. Relief washed over him, accompanied by a little bit of disappointment originating from between his legs. 

"Hal,” Snake began. Not Otacon. _Hal_. "Are you alright?"

Snake slipped down onto the bed beside him, the mattress responding with an aching noise. Hal immediately felt his entire body grow stiff and hot, painfully aware of what little distance was left between them. 

After a polite minute of waiting for a reply, Snake tried again. "Listen, I know I'm awful when I’m like this... I probably want this to stop more than you think I do. But I… _shit._ " He looked down, past his legs and straight at his feet. "I’m too drunk for this."

Snake let out a huff and smirked into the darkness of the room. Hal managed to get out a nervous laugh as well.

"It’s okay,” Hal said. “I mean, I was being too pushy about it earlier, I guess."

Snake turned his head and shot him a genuine smile, even if it was obviously prompted by his drunken state. Hal couldn’t help but give him a goofy, nervous grin in return. 

"Also, I kinda stole your bed," he croaked. "So i'm sorry for that too, Dave." 

This was dangerous territory, but Snake had opened up the first name basis conversation first, so Hal prayed he wouldn’t tear him to bits for this.

There was no reply, at first. Hal took it as his chance to quietly disappear and awkwardly unwrapped himself from the bedsheets. As he got up, Snake's hand closed around his wrist. 

"Stay.” He spoke with a firm and serious tone of voice. "You seemed comfortable before. What happened?” 

Hal tried not to break out into a hysterical fit, thinking _oh god, he knows. He absolutely knows I was jerking off on_ his _bed that smells like_ him _, moaning_ his _name_. 

He was a dead man. Before he could react, Snake pulled him back onto the bed, looking at him calmly, slowly loosening his grip on Hal’s wrist. 

"You haven’t slept in almost a week, Hal."

Of course Snake would know about his sleep schedule, he was Solid-fucking-Snake, after all. _Of_  
_course_.  
  
The stench of alcohol intensified as he moved closer to Hal, the palm of his hand kneading his arm.  
  
"Listen, Dave. I know I messed up, and I know you’re probably mad, but let’s deal with this tomorrow. Please." He helplessly watched as Snake's hand moved down to his knee. _He was gonna kill him._ "You’re really drunk, and maybe it would be better if we just…” he paused his last attempt of desperate self-defense as he noticed that Snake's eyes had grown dark, his gaze fixed on him in a relentless stare.  
  
Hal wasn’t sure if he was hallucinating, but for a moment, it seemed like Snake had licked his lips, all his attention still fixed on him. 

"Otacon, I want to - to _help_ you. Let me help you." 

Hal barked out a nervous laugh. "With what, exactly?"  
  
Snake moved even closer, and awkwardly squeezed his thigh.

"Y’know," he slurred, and looked down to Hal's crotch, then back up to his face.

Hal stared at him in disbelief. He had pretty much expected everything but this. 

"Oh my god, Snake… You’re totally drunk! Uh, let’s just… go to bed and sleep, alright?"

He carefully removed Snake's hand from his thigh and placed it on the sheets lying them. This was way too much for him. 

Snake, on the other hand, looked heartbroken, and Hal caught himself feeling bad for rejecting him. 

But he was drunk, and this wasn’t real. It was a bad idea and— 

Snake's hand had found its way back to his thigh, and Hal pushed it off a bit more roughly this time. 

"You’re _drunk_ , Dave,” he said adamantly. The smell and heat were overwhelming and he hated how his body reacted to the situation. He was sweating, and felt like he was going to shatter underneath that dark stare. "You don’t apologize to people by, y’know…" another nervous laugh escaped his throat. "By… having _sex_ with them or whatever."

Maybe Snake was even worse at social interaction than he was, he figured, as he wordlessly watched Snake slip off the bed and kneel in front of him. 

Snake was leaning against the bed now, and Hal noticed that he had absentmindedly dropped his legs off the mattress. 

"Listen…" that low, slurred rumble of a voice began, making him shiver as he suddenly cupped Hal’s face with his hand. "I’m drunk, but I’m still coherent. This isn’t an apology." 

He positioned himself between Hal's knees, and smiled into his hand. 

"I want this… I want _you…_ "

A long pause followed, both of them showing no sign of movement. They simply stared at one another, Hal's mouth slightly agape and Snake's dark face hidden by the low lighting.  
  
“I want you to feel good, too,” he all but gracefully lamented, and quietly - almost too quiet for Hal to hear - mumbled against his pale thigh. "Is that alright?" He lightly tugged at the waistband of Hal's boxers. 

"Y-Yeah, okay." This was _such_ a bad idea. "But you’re _so_ gonna kill me in the morning.”

A weak attempt of a joke, and Hal finally let Snake go. Despite the pressing heat, he was shaking, his limbs growing heavy and useless. He felt a light breath against what little fabric was left to cover his erection and couldn’t help but grip Snake's shoulder, biting his lip. He was painfully hard, and even if the other man had seen him naked countless times before, he felt a bit embarrassed when his underwear dropped down to his ankles. 

Soft lips mouthed at his inner thigh, and he leaned up to get a better view of what was happening. "Wait," he squeaked meekly, pushing himself off the mattress. 

"Is everything alright?" Snake seemed genuinely worried.

"Uh... yeah. Just need my glasses." Hal reached out for the bedside table and let himself fall back again, this time closing some of the distance between them. "Can’t see you properly without…"

Snake stared up at him for a moment, and for the first time, Hal considered that he maybe wasn’t the only one about to get off on this. Then, he was yanked closer, barely managing to put his glasses on before letting out a quiet moan. It was a little weird, but blissful, almost. Even if Snake's movements were clumsy and uncoordinated, he clearly didn’t lack enthusiasm, and gently stroked Hal's hips with his free hand. 

He had trouble staying focused at the delicate, little sounds made against him, and sank his nails into Snake's neck, which prompted a groan around his dick that made him hiss in return. 

"Oh my god, Snake…”  
  
Snake pulled away, a string of saliva hanging on the corner of his grinning mouth, and looked up at Hal, eyes glistening with arousal.  
  
"Can I push a bit further...?" His voice was hoarse, and Hal had to bite back another moan at the thought. This was going to be the end of him. Why would Snake bother with waiting until later when he could just be killed by this. 

"Yes." He breathed, but there was no sound as he decided to softly grab Snake's hair, pulling him closer.

The rough, brown locks were sticky with sweat. He gave a peaceful grin at the shabby wallpaper as lips locked around him again. 

Snake started bobbing his head a bit, and eventually made those little sounds that drove Hal absolutely crazy, having him babble incoherently about things that he would probably (definitely) regret later. 

Then, he felt himself hit the back of Snake's throat, and even if it was all weird and gawky, it made him feel so good and helpless that he had to curse. 

"Holy crap, you're so—" 

Before he could finish his less than creative appraisal, Snake made a choked noise and let go of him, clinging onto Hal's knee for dear life. It took him a little too long to understand; he was still lost in his hazy thoughts after all, but when something hot splashed against his inner thigh, it finally dawned on him.

The stench of vomit and alcohol filled the room, and when more and more landed in a puddle between his knees, Hal pulled up his boxers, clumsily grabbing Snake by his side and dragged him to the bathroom. The bright light blinded him at first as he pushed them towards the toilet, where Snake violently emptied the rest of his stomach while Hal awkwardly patted his back. 

"God, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you! Oh, jeez..." 

Snake didn't look up from the toilet bowl, but fumbled for Hal's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. 

"S' okay… I'm okay,” he groaned, sounding definitely not okay. "It's just the booze…” he squawked, and spat out some more bile. Hal sighed and put his face in his hands. 

"Yeah, but it was my dick you choked on. Oh god, my di—”

Snake barked out a tired laugh that echoed through the bathroom. 

After Hal had managed to organize a washcloth that wasn't completely disgusting, he guided Snake to the sink and wiped his face meekly. 

"I know I'm supposed to stay out of your, uh - problems. But I can't just watch you drown yourself in alcohol every night." He gave a weak smile. "Hah, i guess I'm just too much of a worrier for that."

Snake's face was sweaty and red, his lips swollen, strands of hair stuck to his face. Still, Hal was pretty sure he had never looked nicer when he finally turned towards him.

"Y'know, I can be kind of an asshole sometimes."  
  
Hal cocked an eyebrow. "Sometimes, huh?" 

He was offered an apologetic grin. Snake's voice was still slurred. "Okay, I can be kind of an asshole pretty often. It's just - hard to talk about this shit. At all." 

"Yeah, I know."  
  
They stared at each other, and didn't say anything for a few moments, until Hal gathered up his courage and pulled his friend into a loose hug. To his surprise, Snake wrapped his arms around him in return, their cheeks pressed together in the tiny, stifling bathroom. 

He was a little confused when he noticed something hard and warm press into his hip, until he realised that - oh, yeah... Snake was... they had been...

"Uh,” he tried, but stopped when their noses brushed against each other. 

Then he was kissed, glasses sliding up on his forehead, the taste of vomit and Snake filling his mouth as he licked Snake's lips. That turned him on more than he liked to admit, and he pulled back to put some distance between them.

"We gotta - _ah_ , Snake, stop that. We have to clean up. Come on…”

An unwilling grunt, and they peeled themselves off of eachother. It ended up with Hal wiping the floor while his partner snoozed away on the bed, though he couldn't really bring himself to care, because Snake deserved to sleep it off. When Hal was finished, he didn't dare waste one look at the couch, instead slipping into the sheets behind Snake. 

_Yeah_ , he mused, pressing his face into the space between Snake's shoulders. _This_ _is alright_.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, Terror_AI for helping me edit this!  
> This is my first fanfiction! Please leave a comment or kudos and let me know what you think :)


End file.
